Help! The Christmas spirit is fading away! Puppies are being nabbed off the streets! Late-Playstation-era CGI is running rampant! Christopher Lloyd and Richard Kind need a paycheck! This sounds like a job for none other than our LSP favorites: The Buddies. The 2009 straigt-to-DVD “Santa Buddies,” to be precise. Get ready to JO w/ ur bros, Lonestarinos, it’s time for a children’s Christmas movie. Brought to you by your gin and egg nog addled Uncle Greg.
In the spirit of holiday cheer, Evil Villain Krampus Lone Star Host Ben is replaced by Benevolent Heroic Christlike Guest Host Larry to talk holiday-themed fast food with Where Am I Right Now Host Alex. The father/son duo brave the Fatburger Turkey Cranberry Burger, IHOP Jolly Cakes, Coca Cola Cinnamon, Sprite Winter Spiced Cranberry (yes, they too don’t quite know what “winter spice” is), and the Doghaus Turducken Dog. Tune in to find out which one of these food items doesn’t absolutely suck! It might not be the one you think. Brought to you by… nobody. When Ben is gone, so goes the money.
We did this twice. We stopped doing it. And by, um, popular demand, we’re doing it again, baby!! Join Ben and Alex as they take a break from their usual garbage programming to bring you… more garbage programming! Today on tap: New Yorkers laying on their horns, Tik Tok influencers, fluoride, lectins, Counterstrike, and falling on your sword for centrism in 2019. At the end of the episode, our Lone Star Hosts share a special moment you won’t want to miss! Brought to you by Bernie Sanders.
OooooooOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo. Verrrrry spoookkkkkyyyyy (iiiffff you’re literallllyyyy threee years ooOOooolllddd liiikeee MoooOOoooRRrrrggGaaannn)!!! There’s cErEaL and CaPiTaLiSm and pOp-Up books and nAuGhTy wOrDs galore in this fRiGhTeNiNg episode of the pod!!! Brought to you by Pennywise the Clown >:)
In the whimsical world of so-bad-it’s-good cinema, we at the Lone Star Podcast tip our hats to the greats: Wiseau’s infamous “The Room,” Fragasso’s prequel-less “Troll 2,” Warner’s 0% Tomatometer-awarded “Manos: The Hands of Fate…” the list goes on. Among the grand devisors of these insufferable cult classics lives a titan by the name of Neil Breen. For the last decade, Breen has gifted the world with a panoply of true Lone Star content. Today, Alex and Ben will guide you through his awful, wonderful, baffling masterpiece(ofsh*t), “Fateful Findings.” Hide your laptops and your daughters, folks–Breen has no mercy for either. Brought to you by global warming.
You are podcast listen to?Haha, sorry, no way!Come and Vrooooom in the Night Sky to friends Alex and Ben will be there.Badder than the baddest game on Nintendo Switch, 17% Metacritic, oh no!!Collect bikes now and press B to go, Lonestarinos!Big special surprise at end of fun podcast?Whoa, you need to find out today!Bringing by to you Game Juice.
Y’all know what time it is, Lonestarinos. On today’s premium content jubilee, the boys talk about Tora (the band, not to be confused with the scripture), Jack Stauber, Star Realms, Nederland CO, Rochester NY, NPR’s Laura Sullivan, cookies (yes, cookies), student debt cancellation, and Dragon Quest Builders 2. Brought to you by Ye Olde Skleeble.
On today’s episode, 14 different podcasts with “Lone Star” in the title go head to head in an all-out battle royale we’re calling THE LONE STAR SHOWDOWN. Alex and Ben, your two completely unbiased hosts, will rate these pods by concept, content, host(s), theme song, sound quality, and how much the show is actually about Texas. In Part I, competitors include: Lone Star Podcast, The Lone Star Podcast (ours), The Lone Star Podcast (not ours), Lone Star Gun Talk, Lone Star Cowboy Church, Lone Star Fright, and Lone Star Legacy. Tune in to see who comes out on top!
Pick a color.Now, your favorite album from 1996.Okay, and what’s your mom’s maiden name?Finally: Keanu Reeves or this flock of baby ducklings?Wow, turns out you’re a Lonestarino!You love listening to podcasts about trash.This BuzzFeed Quiz extravaganza episode might just be your favorite!Join Alex and Ben as they figure out which ThunderCat they are, what Hogwarts house they belong to, and more. They hate it as much as you do.Brought to you by Uncle Bumbery’s Wand Emporium.
It’s 2002. You’re in a Sharper Image. You’re getting over a recent break-up. Phil Collins’ brand new comeback album, “Testify,” comes on over the speakers. You remain uninspired. You sit in a massage chair–decide you’ll wait until you get a bigger place before you buy it. You leave. Flash forward 17 years: you sit down and listen to the Lone Star Podcast. Alex and Ben give voice to your moment of ennui from that dark time. We cannot feel it coming in the air tonight, folks. Brought to you by… nothing. Nobody. Nothingness.