Pick a color. Now, your favorite album from 1996. Okay, and what’s your mom’s maiden name? Finally: Keanu Reeves or this flock of baby ducklings? Wow, turns out you’re a Lonestarino! You love listening to podcasts about trash. This BuzzFeed Quiz extravaganza episode might just be your favorite! Join Alex and Ben as they figure out which ThunderCat they are, what Hogwarts house they belong to, and more. They hate it as much as you do. Brought to you by Uncle Bumbery’s Wand Emporium.
LSP 35: Lone Star Does Five Star #7
You know the drill, folks. Every 5 episodes, we take a break from all the dumpster-diving to talk about things we love. Look for clues about today’s topics in the hashtags (and by clues, we mean literal descriptors). Brought to you by Rift Studios. No, seriously, there’s a discount code and everything, we’re big time now.
Note: Since recording this episode, FEMA has made emergency funds available to the Oglala Lakota Tribe.
LSP 34: Suspishfish
What’s garbage in real life, but music to your ears? What’s about Texas, but never really about Texas? Have you guessed it? It’s the Lone Star Podcast. Oy. Today, your Trash Captains take you on a deep dive into some of the worst riddles, puzzles, jokes, and puns on the internet. Careful, we might run into some suspishfish along the way. Brought to you by big pharma.
LSP 33: Sharper Image Divorce Recovery
It’s 2002. You’re in a Sharper Image. You’re getting over a recent break-up. Phil Collins’ brand new comeback album, “Testify,” comes on over the speakers. You remain uninspired. You sit in a massage chair–decide you’ll wait until you get a bigger place before you buy it. You leave. Flash forward 17 years: you sit down and listen to the Lone Star Podcast. Alex and Ben give voice to your moment of ennui from that dark time. We cannot feel it coming in the air tonight, folks. Brought to you by… nothing. Nobody. Nothingness.
LSP 31: Teen Scene Ponzi Scheme
Last year, The Garbage Boys took a deep dive into the hellscape of monologues written for teens. This time, they’re diving even deeper and mustering up their acting chops to tackle some two-person scenes for teens. Like the monologues, these scenes are not from plays, but a magical database full of standalone pieces written by–um, whoever, it would seem. Buckle up, Lonestarinos, Oscar season is only nine months away. Brought to by… a very mature joke made by two adult men.
LSP 30: Lone Star Does Five Star #6
The tradition is back, Lonestarinos. Join Ben and Alex as they take a break from all the garbage to talk about things that are not garbage: things like SXSW, Beirut, Chase Iron Eyes, trail mix, Sekiro, Happy as Lazzaro, life without booze, and the Democratic field. Eclectic and joyful as ever. Brought to you by jokes.
LSP 29: Don’t Mind the Gap
On today’s episode, your premier purveyors of garbage content are joined by in-house Lone Star Reality TV Consultant Maggie McCaffery to talk about “Age Gap Love,” a British reality show that’s about exactly what it sounds like. Love is blind. Sometimes really, really blind. Brought to you by hamburgers.
LSP 28: There’s an App for That?
Finance, fitness, podcasts, cooking, social media… kissing? Mock shaving? Games that aren’t games? This week, Ben and Alex dip into the underbelly of low-rated, non-rated, and, shall we say, PG-13 rated apps available on the App Store (not Google Play, because we’re not that hip).
LSP 27: I Am The One Who Barks
One year ago, Alex and Ben first ventured into the talking animal purgatory that is the “Buddies” series and promised they would return to it when the time was right. That day has come. In this episode, we take a closer look than anybody has probably ever taken at “Treasure Buddies,” the “Indiana Jones”-ish, straight-to-DVD “Air Bud” knock-off you never knew you needed to see.
LSP 25: Lone Star Does Five Star #5
It’s a historic day folks: it’s the FIFTH Lone Star Does Five Star special. Five for five, baby! Five on five! High five! We’ll put five on it! Five in one, half a dozen… um, is actually more than five, but we digress. Join Alex and Ben as they dig into the finest of finer things, including tattoos, school fairs, college concerts, the Persona series, James Blake, “Who Is America,” “The Wilderness,” “Nanette,” and doing what we love to do. Brought to you by Alex’s mom just in the nick of time!